Image by Ron Huxley (?)
Between Wanting and Needing: Where lies the difference?
I found this quote on an online game called Sage. I thought the question an excellent representation of what I am continually trying to answer in my stories.
The poet Robert Bly said in a 2004 interview with The Sun that there is "this whiny one inside us who wants to be happy all the time." Bly said, "In the Muslim tradition, that whiny one is called the nafs, which is the greedy soul ... the insatiable soul, the rapacious soul."
Bly then quotes from his own work: "It's all right if I feel this same pain until I die. It's all right if the boat I love never reaches shore."
What Bly is saying is that it's all right if we don't always get what we want. Are our NEEDS being satisfied, that's the thing.
As writers, we NEED to write. As much as we might think we'd love the fame, money, and recognition that go along with publication, it really must be all right that we simply write. As Bly said, "You can write a poem and not care if it's published or not."
Bly says that the greedy part of our soul wants to be comforted and praised all the time. He says it's all right if this doesn't happen. It's all right if we do something "beautiful and good" without "getting any candy" for it, Bly says.
Michael Ventura, who interviewed Bly, responded to Bly's comment by pointing out that the disappointment "can open a space for something new."
As a writer I continually struggle with the greedy one who wants recognition for the hours I have spent alone, struggling with words.
I must continue to write; and what or when or how I write cannot depend on recognition, praise, or reward. Otherwise, I'm giving in to the nafs.
Bly revealed: "The Sufis say the nafs is part of our ancient animal-soul, which is determined to have food, power, and sexuality, and to stay alive, even to the detriment of those closest to us."
I submit that the nafs also is determined to stay alive, even to the detriment of our "self." The nafs can destroy our garden.
What is the difference between what I WANT and what I NEED? Such an important question, found, by chance, by clicking on an online game called Sage.
It is a question I will continue to explore in all my writing.
5 comments:
This is an excellent entry, and something I think every writer needs to think about. Is the point the writing or the publication? Where is the desire -- for recognition or to use the gift of writing? I know that I hope to get published one day, but if that isn't to be, do I still want to write? I've had to look long and hard at why I write, and the answer to that one is yes. So even if my blog is the only thing I ever write that gets read, I have to keep on writing. I could go on even further about the primitive, greedy side of our natures, but I think I might save that for later.
We all react so instantly to the word, "need." I remember way back when, when I was in sales and doing cold-calling (ugh!), I was told by my boss to say, "I NEED to speak to ..." and not "I would like to speak to..." Our wants are manipulated into needs to the mass media and by our increasingly goal-driven societal mores. I want a nice car with a CD player, leather seats, a GPS system, etc., etc. I NEED a vehicle with four wheels that's relatively safe to get me to and from my place of work. I want what I write to be perfect and admired by the world. I NEED to express myself in words to my own satisfaction. But those nafs do grasp us tightly. The approval of others is seductive, and maybe it's ok to have that kind of thing from time to time. After all, as humans we are social creatures. But to be driven by our nafs, no, that is unhealthy and shrivels up that inner garden we NEED to tend.
Sometimes there is such a fine line between wants and needs. There are the basic needs, food and water. Then comes the next level, clothing and shelter. Those are our physical needs. Other needs, such as the need to communicate are sometimes very hard to fulfill. I need to write so I do not explode, I want someone to read and tell me I am okay. I have 2 journals, in 2 names,1 private, 1 public. Everyday I write, everyday I delete. My needs and wants are satisified in both journals. Different needs and different wants are fulfilled. Each journal I read does the same thing, fulfills my need to read and my need to escape my world. Is it a need or want? Sometimes I really do not know.
Abraham Maslow defined the hierarchy of needs as follows: at the base are physiological needs (survival), followed by safety (a roof over our heads), then love, then esteem, then finally, at the peak, self-actualization. Without the layer below, the upper levels cannnot be attained. But if they are...for those who are destined to write, the pinnacle of self-actualization through writing is surely a need, not a want.
Very nice.
V
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